Many people might see me as someone without friends. No one invites me to movies, meals, or shopping trips. Why? Because they know I’ll most likely say no. Over time, these invitations stopped altogether, and even for group events or gatherings, people assume, “Sophie won’t come,” and don’t bother informing me.

From this perspective, I’ve created an ecosystem for myself where I have no “friends” in the traditional sense. However, I do have teachers and classmates with whom I study and grow together. These are my “guides,” and for me, this is enough. Of course, I have colleagues and work partners, but my communication with them is purely professional—we talk about work, not personal matters. If they invite me to a bar or a restaurant, my usual response is, “Sorry, I’m not available.”

The idea of true friendship doesn’t really exist for me. Why? Often, friendships are built on comparisons and competition. For example, a man might feel proud taking a beautiful girlfriend to a gathering, not because of her, but because of the envy it stirs among his friends. Interactions with friends often involve subtle comparisons—who’s better, who’s more successful.

If you pay attention, you’ll notice this dynamic. When you achieve something—get a promotion or accomplish a goal—and share it with a friend, they might say, “Oh, I’m so happy for you.” But deep inside, they may not genuinely want you to succeed, because your success highlights their own shortcomings.

True joy for your success usually comes from people with vested interests in your achievements, such as your family. For example, your parents derive a sense of pride when you succeed because your accomplishments reflect positively on them. This sense of shared value creates genuine happiness for your success.

Friends, however, often lack this vested interest. Observe your interactions closely and see if these dynamics resonate with your experiences.